On Bank Holiday Monday which was strangely like every other
day off of recent times, my favourite disc jockey Scott Mills popped up on Radio 2 to reveal the most-played songs of the past ten years across TV, radio and elsewhere. Whilst I don’t quite
have time to analyse the entire list, I thought we’d look at the top ten and
talk about any trends and patterns I might have noticed.
What's all this then?
Before we dive into this, let’s explain how this chart was
worked out. This is all based on Phonographic Performance Limited (PPL) data.
This basically means it was created via stats from radio, TV, pubs, parties,
gyms, stadiums, offices and so on. As you might expect, the streaming data is
not quite the same, as Spotify charts tend to be much more focussed on genres
like hip-hop and so on. If it was big on family-friendly commercial radio, it’s probably here. If it has little appeal to the middle-aged, it might not be.
Let’s face facts, I’ll assume you’d expect a certain red-haired
omnipresent singer-songwriter who’s been doing the rounds for almost ten years
to fare highly, right? Well, you’d be wrong. Despite being a thing since 2011
and having some of the most (over?) played hits of the past decade, there is
diddly squat Ed Sheeran in the top ten. Actually, scrap that – he didn’t make
the top 35. I’m as surprised as you are.
So what DID make the top ten, and what conclusions can
we draw from the results? Let’s find out right now!
10: Kings of Leon: Sex on Fire (2008)
Yes, you read that right – the tenth most-played (NOT
STREAMED) song of the past ten years is twelve years old. Will an “indie” song
ever be this big again? May seem unlikely, but Feel It, Still off of Portugal,
The Man was a HUGE commercial radio mainstay after a very slow climb to #3
around two years ago. Certain alternative music fans will tell you they lost
touch with Kings of Leon once they morphed into a bit of a Springsteen-esque stadium
band from a quirkier southern rock concern, but that’s the exact point when I
started to finally like them. Whilst we’re here, their 2010s singles may not
have set the charts on fire but I am totally there for more recent radio hits
like Temple, Don’t Matter, Waste a Moment, Find Me and so on.
IS IT RETRO?
Yeah. Well 1985.
9. Cee-Lo Green: Forget You (2010)
Big uptempo classic soul vibes on this one, but lots and
lots of irreverent lyrics. “Guess he’s an Xbox, and I’m more an Atari”? Atari’s
are probably cooler now. This song dominated the airwaves in autumn 2010 and I
certainly like it more than I did at the time. Part of me did wish Mills
accidentally played the “wrong” version a la Bruno Brookes in 1993 though.
Ain’t that some shit? Came four-and-a-half years after overrated Crazy.
IS IT RETRO?
Take away the wry tech references and electronic sheen and
I’ll put this in about 1971.
8. OneRepublic: Counting Stars (2013)
As far as commercial radio MOR goes, this is okay.
OneRepublic frontman Ryan Tedder is a very prolific songwriter who has penned
such Heart mainstays as Maps off of Maroon 5, Halo off of Beyoncé and Ghost
off of Ella Henderson. I definitely prefer early 90s MOR like Would I Lie To
You, Hazard and certain Simply Red numbers, but he’s good at what he does. I
don’t have a lot to say about this.
IS IT RETRO?
Hard to pinpoint this foot-tapper to a specific
year. Hardly forward-thinking but not particularly derivative of anything that
immediately springs to mind. At the time, it made me wonder where ultimate Heart FM combo Maroon 5 had disappeared to. They weren't away long. And fear not, for they’re coming up in this very soon.
7. Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars: Uptown Funk (2014)
Both of these acts have done very irritating things over the
years – the former peed me off with his brassy covers around 2007, whilst the
latter’s creepy, smug and sickening ballads virtually tortured me in the early
10s. However, both have massively redeemed themselves since. Ronson’s Bang Bang
Bang, Nothing Breaks Like A Heart and Find U Again are pretty sublime, whilst
Mars’ Treasure and 24k Magic will probably remain in my 2010s playlists forevermore.
This is a cross-generational funk number that remained at the top spot for
seven weeks between late 2014 and early 2015, released early because Fleur East
performed it on the X Factor. Songs being released to radio before being made
public? Now that’s a WhoOoooOOo if ever I heard one. I kind of miss that. Will
probably bang on about that in another article.
I’ll tell you what pissed me off – when this was #1, the
Funk and Social Club off of 6 Music got wind of it and were all “do you DARE us
to play it?”. You just know they would have aired it without question had it
been performed by people they respected rather than these incredibly popular
figures that, you know, sell records, have big hit singles and fill big venues
across the world. Sickening snobbery.
IS IT RETRO?
Like feck it’s retro. I’ve just checked the Gap
Band’s chart positions on everyhit.com and I’m sending this right back to 1980.
6. Black Eyed Peas: I Gotta Feeling (2009)
Okay, this is fecking awful. Forced fun at its worst, and
it's not even from the 2010s! I actually do like a few Black Eyed Peas songs –
namely the holy trinity of Don’t Lie, Just Can’t Get Enough and Meet Me
Halfway, which was “indiesplained” by Sunderland’s Futureheads a few years later.
Will.I.Am is a very irritating character, with his stupid annoying phrases,
hipster eyewear and facial expressions, but fire up his gloriously ludicrous
and quickly forgotten top three hit 2012 T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever) featuring Jennifer
Lopez and Mick Jagger if you want to hear him at his most entertaining. I Gotta
Feeling was produced by David Guetta, who is responsible for some of the very
worst and best things.
IS IT RETRO?
Just a housy party anthem really. That’s not
fit to say the names of the ones from the early nineties or many of its contemporaries.
5. Justin Timberlake: CAN’T STOP THE FEELING! (2016)
Lots and lots of people really hate this, if my social media
feed is anything to go by. This could also be accused of being “forced fun”,
but I’m generally all for a long-standing popstar having a huge hit fourteen
years into his solo career before we even consider his time in *NSYNC. Aside
from being overplayed, I don’t have any real problem with this at all.
IS IT RETRO?
It’s Justin Timberlake, he’s rarely far away
from Off The Wall.
4. Daft Punk Feat. Pharrell Williams (and Nile Rodgers
surely?): Get Lucky (2013)
You know, when this was first unveiled its streams were
absolutely off-the-scale even though the Gallic dance duo hadn’t scored a real
hit for about 12 years beforehand. This was one of Pharrell’s THREE 2013
chart-toppers, which really wasn’t a bad achievement for a forty-year-old. I
suppose being male helps with that. The only big 2010s female chart star of a
similar age I can think of is Sia, and she hid behind a wig and a very young
dancer. Anyway, I do like Get Lucky, but it’s never quite got me in the feels
considering the impact it seems to have had on others. Was nice to see Nile get
an (uncredited) chart-topper in actual 2013 though.
IS IT RETRO?
Cut it open and it’d bleed 1978.
3. Maroon 5 Feat. Christina Aguilera: Moves Like Jagger
(2011)
Do you know when you start something at an ungodly hour and
feel obliged to finish it even though it’s now a colossally stupid time?
That’s me right now. Anyway, Moves Like Jagger. This was stuck at #2 for weeks
and weeks before Radio 1 caved in and finally started playing it – their profile
was pretty much dead prior to this song becoming
a defining 2010s radio hit. As you may expect, I don’t like a host of Maroon 5
songs but I have always enjoyed this one. The appearance of Aguilera shoots it
right into fifth gear. Despite once looking like a chart corpse, they have
enjoyed a host of hits since 2011, many conceived after seeing what was
trending on Spotify and creating Spitting Image versions of what the speakers
plopped out.
Whilst we’re here, 2019 single Memories spent 16 weeks on
the Top 40 and I recall hearing it just once, on the chart show. Two points here: 1) whatever radio
station you listen to can make songs feel massive even if they’re not. Conversely, Memories doesn't feel huge to me because I've heard it once. In 2019, Harmony Hall by Vampire Weekend seemed gigantic to me because of radio play. It didn't make the top 100. No
wonder 6 Music listeners think those Specials songs defined 2019 and 2) you can
still have a huge streaming hit without the support of the “nation’s
favourite”. Not surprised Radio 1 didn’t go for it to be fair, it sounded as Magic as feck to me. I’m sure they’re charming their next
rent-a-rapper as we speak.
IS IT RETRO?
Again, hard to pin it to a specific era but
it’s hardly drill.
2. Adele: Rolling In The Deep (2010)
Rolling In The Deep was the first single from the UK’s
fourth-biggest selling album of all-time. Slightly surprised to see Someone
Like You absent from the top ten but I suppose it was never a party anthem.
Not a massive fan of Adele’s ballads but this fiery, impassioned number does
give me goose-pimples on a good day. Those backing vocals! This song was about
as forward-thinking as Liam Gallagher covering Mott the Hoople but sometimes
innovation isn’t needed. By the way, the ‘is this retro’ part of this was
inspired by the fact so many of the past decade’s biggest hits borrow so
enthusiastically from the 60s and 70s. As you may have f**king guessed by now.
An off-form Aretha Franklin covered this and I’m sad to say it sounded like she’d sat on a
cat. RIP.
IS IT RETRO?
1967 for this one.
1. Pharrell
Williams: Happy (2013)
Three-time number one and Northern Soul pastiche Happy is
possibly the most retro of the lot. It’s also complete catshit. Happy was
written and produced by the often-great Williams and taken from the 2013 film
Despicable Me 2. Drawing undeserved Curtis Mayfield comparisons, it shot to #1
in more than 20 countries and has sold at least 1.5 million copies in the UK.
The inexpliably huge Happy always
sounded like a b-side to me and I still can’t comprehend its immeasurable
popularity even now. However, I’m commenting on the song and not the artist,
who has performed, produced or remixed premium bangers ranging from Lapdance
and Good Stuff, Boys, Girlfriend, Gust of Wind, Slave 4 U to She Wants To Move, Got Your Money and even
his other #1, the controversial Blurred Lines we don’t tend to hear much anymore. Anyway, it’s
massively overrated in my eyes, but the pubgoers, clubbers, gym lovers and
partiers of the UK have spoken, and it turns out they think Happy is absolutely
fire.
CONCLUSION
There’s not a lot of symmetry between the UK’s most streamed
and most-played songs of the past decade. Whilst streaming charts are generally
determined by young people, you are far more likely to hear cross-generational
Radio 2-friendly hits older listeners understand the appeal of in public
places, across most commercial radio stations and at big events. The top five
most-streamed songs of the past decade were Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You (#38 in
this chart), Drake’s One Dance (nowhere to be seen), Post Malone’s Rockstar
(nothing), The Chainsmokers’ Closer (zilch) and Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud
(genuinely nowhere, despite perhaps seeming like the biggest song of the past
five years). None of these appear in the top ten most-played songs of the past
decade.
One big conclusion I have come to is that it tends to be
songs that unashamedly borrow from the past that win the attention of people of
all ages, from all walks of life. Given the praise poured upon The Weeknd’s
pure-1985 current #1 single Blinding Lights, it’s a safe bet that track will be
there or thereabouts should an updated chart appear in 2030. It’s also worth
noting that Thinking Out Loud has had less than six years to gain an enviable
position in this chart, whilst the seemingly inescapable Shape of You has less
than three-and-a-half years behind it. Meanwhile, Natalie Imbruglia’s 1997 hit
Torn made its way into the Top 40 of this rundown.
If you’re tired of hearing
today’s biggest tracks, strap yourself in for a bumpy ride, as it doesn’t seem
they’re exiting the public consciousness anytime soon. We can also concede that all those GRM Daily tracks teenagers stream on the back of the bus don't tend to soundtrack your nan's 70th.
If you want to score a massive inescapable hit that resonates
with the kids, their parents and their grandparents, don’t abandon the formula –
a verse-chorus-verse structure with anthemic melodies and relatable lyrics complete
with musical nods to the past and a subtly modern production sheen should put
you in very good stead. See in ten years when Blinding Lights still won't go away.
Also, your dad hates Young T & Bugsey.